Disability

I haven't been crocheting much because 1)  my hands have been hurting and 2)  I have been having trouble with coordinating my hands.  If you read my first post you probably wouldn't know it but I am severely disabled. I have mobility issues (supposed to be in a wheelchair), live in a group home for disabled adults, have a traumatic brain injury and heart problems.  I don't know how much life I have left and I try to enjoy each day.

I tried doing some exercises to help with hand pain but my hands have just been hurting!  They feel, well, ouch, and even typing this is hard (maybe I need to get a voice recognition typing thing).  I am going to try crocheting again tomorrow and am going to do some hand exercises tonight and tomorrow morning to help with the pain.  I've done a little bit more on my Granny square future blanket but not much because my hands have been hurting.

Speaking of disability, I admire severely disabled people like myself, up in Washington, advocating for disabled rights.  Disabled people speak frequently of "inspiration porn" and how they are praised for just being disabled and living (such as, wow!  she has a job and she is disabled!  how inspiring!)  I hate inspiration porn.  I am just a severely disabled person trying to live her life like everyone else.  I think it is okay, though, from one severely disabled person to the next to admire what one chooses to do with his or her life.  Being an advocate is a noble cause and one that takes bravery.  I'm not sure I am cut out for it in Washington D.C. but maybe I could do it online.  I have a lot of cognitive problems that prevent me from speaking well and being social with people but I do okay online and with typing (when my hands aren't hurting!)

Crocheting with hurting hands is hard.  I may have to rethink my dream of doing crochet for a living.  I'm going to try, though, and just take it one step at a time.  I think, though, that I am going to write more about disability because I find it is a good way to advocate and I admire other disabled people who advocate for themselves online and off and write about it online.  Many of these people have college degrees and are quite intelligent.  I would like to one day earn a college degree....I was thinking a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts) in Fiber Art from the Savannah College of Art and Design or the Maryland Institute College of Art would be cool.  But, I don't know if that will ever happen because I have trouble both with change and with doing the same thing over and over again because of my traumatic brain injuries.

First Post and Today's Work

My name is Stephanie and my dream is to do crochet for a living.  I am inspired by blogs about painting, where an artist will post a painting, sometimes one a day even, and then continue to do it for years (I've seen some blogs do it for over ten years!).  I love to see the progress an artist makes in their work and I would like to do that with my crochet.  Right now, I am a beginning crocheter.  I learned crochet at 15, so I learned it 15 years ago, but I haven't been doing it continuously.

I love crochet because I love to use my hands.  I was searching, searching for something where I could use my hands and I found it in crochet.  I think I chose crochet for a number of reasons.  For one, I already knew how to do some simple stuff.  For two, I love yarn, especially the colors and the texture and I wanted to do something with yarn.  I am part Native American and considered doing weaving but I really love the yarn used in crochet over the yarn used in weaving.  Crochet yarn is thicker and softer and has more texture.  Plus. it is more readily availble:  all I have to do is go to the local arts and crafts store to find some yarn.  Not so for weaving yarn.  I also chose crochet over knitting because, once again, I was already familiar with crochet.  Plus, I love the holes you can create with crochet.  I like basket weaving and crochet reminds me a little bit of basket weaving.  I'm into basket weaving, like regular weaving, because I am part Native American and crochet, with it's beautiful holes, reminds me of baskets.  I think one of the beauties of crochet is the holes you can create holes with it so I am not a fan of Tunsian crochet or anything without holes.  I am happy to say I found a beautiful and creative way to use my hands and hopefully one day make a living with crochet.

This is what I did today.  It isn't much, I know.  My hands got tired because I am still a beginner.  I read about some hand stretching and exercies crochet artisans can do, though, and hopefully that will help.  I didn't do that much and my hands are tired from typing this. 

I just love the Granny square.  I love the holes it creates.  I did it with a K needle.  I like to work with large needles and create holes.  I feel that this is something unique about crochet that you can't do with weaving or do well with knitting.  I am learning more and more about crochet everday and now since I have the internet I would like to learn more patterns and create more pieces.  Everday is a process!